Poop on a tree

I’m a pretty laid back mom.  I guess you’d have to be to have five boys.  When my boys were little my mother would get on my case because I would let them pee on the tree in the yard.  She didn’t quite believe that not only would I let them but I pretty much forced them to go there.  I would spend hours dusting and washing floors while the boys would play outside.  There was no way I was going to let muddy or dirty children mess up all of my hard work just because they had to go to the bathroom.  “Just go on the tree,” I would say.  They thought this was fun and it kept my house clean that must longer.  I probably should have suggested they use the tree in the back yard.  I probably should have told them they don’t have to pull their pants all the way to ground to go.  I definitely should have told them that we only go number 1 on the tree.  Oh well.

One day I was at the park with Joey.  We had met my friend Maureen and her son John for a playdate.  Maureen and I were sitting at a picnic table talking when Joey came up to tell me he had to go to the bathroom.  I told him what I always told him, “There’s a tree.”  I continued my conversation with Maureen when I realized that I didn’t see Joey anymore.  I said, “Maureen, do you see Joey anywhere?”  She said, “He’s still behind the tree.”  I grimaced.  I stood up and began to walk over.  There was Joey covered in poop.  I never bothered to ask him what he had to go, I just sent him to the tree.  So Joey thought I wanted him to poop on the tree.  But after he went he must of realized he shouldn’t have.  He tried to hide the poop by smearing it into the ground with his shoes.  (His new shoes.)  So now we have poop on the tree, on the ground, all down his legs and on his shoes.  Great.  There were not enough wet wipes in the world to clean up this mess.  The thought of putting him in my car was awful.  My car was brand new, maybe three weeks old.  So I decided to walk him through the woods back to the pond.  This pond is as scummy as a pond can get.  But I figured the pond scum was cleaner than the poop so I rinsed him off in the pond.

So maybe I am a little bit too laid back.  I let my kids use pacifiers well beyond when they should have given them up.  I let them watch certain movies at a younger age than maybe I should have.  Nevermind, I still stand by Star Wars at 6 years old.  Joey’s certainly not the only child who has a poop story.  (I’ve got a great one about Alex too.  It involves Florida when he was 3 and my brother’s suitcase!)

I guess the point is that all children put their parents through the ringer.  Sometimes someone will ask me, “Are you really ok?  How can you be ok?”  I just have to smile and take a breath and remember that any kid can poop on a tree.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Stephanie Zielinski
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 22:52:20

    Lisa, great story! I miss you! Hope Tommy had a great birthday 🙂

    I think “any kid can poop on a tree” may make it to my stash of advise for new moms.


  2. Tracy Purrenhage
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 07:18:51

    this is hilarious and hits so close to home. thanks for sharing the story. hope all is going well. I love reading your posts, it makes me feel like you are so much closer. wish you guys were still here. but I love how you feel that you are where you’re suppose to be. post some pics of precious little PJ. love, love looking at pics of babies. hugs to you 🙂


  3. Suzanne Love Beck
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 22:11:22

    You know that this goes into the internet archives forever, right? Some day Joey will be 20 and really really unhappy about this one : )


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